One of my very favorite things to do is to help all of us understand what drives us; to have compassion for our “human-ness”.
Today we’re going to talk about the very strong drive we have for certainty. And it shows up as us “knowing” – being right – about things.
How often does that actually work against us, and being able to have what we really want?
I was interacting with a great gal the other night, encouraging her to celebrate the successes she had created over the past month of the program she had been part of.
I had to work fairly hard to help her see what she had to be happy about, because she was pretty focused on what she had not done. Much laughter was happening, as she tried to move through her resistance.
At one point, I even said “Boy, you’re tough!”
I realized that this is something that we all do – WAY too often, right?
Now she’s a very smart woman (just like you), and her logical, and very creative, “evidence-gathering” system had been working to see all the “not enoughs”. And it was pretty crushing to her spirit, and to her motivation.
You know what I mean?
Think of all the places you do this to yourself, and beyond.
Another conversation (with another smart gal) was about how she’d been perceiving a friend’s actions, which was causing a big rift in their relationship – and big pain in her heart. We had some good laughs about it, as we worked through the other possible things she could have been right about.
(Boy, I love smart AND funny women – what a delight to work with!)
Since you’re reading this blog, I can make an assumption about you: you are on a path to having a scrumptious relationship with a great man (whether you’re already with him, or you haven’t met him yet), and you are committed to learning how to manifest that in your life.
- When you get “right” about him not caring, you will put up walls.
- When you get “right” that he couldn’t possibly be attracted to you because (fill in the blanks), you’ll withhold your authentic self.
- When you get “right” about there not being any good men left to meet, you’ll only be half-heartedly going through the motions of “being out there”.
- When you get “right” that he knew what he was doing and he meant to hurt/disappoint/piss you off, you’ll make him pay.
I could go on, but I’m sure you’re getting the point.
So how about if, instead, you get right about:
- There are great men everywhere (imagine the skip in your step)
- You are worthy of being loved (which allows men to give to you)
- Everyone’s doing their very best, always (allowing your compassion to shine)
- You’re gorgeous, just the way you are (talk about authentic self-expression!)
I think that’s a great start…take it from there, gorgeous.
What do you WANT to be right about? Be careful…it’s so powerful.