Dad on a Pedestal

Hello Karen,

I am not sure what you can do to help me, but here goes: I have been dating like a maniac (seems like forever now), and have yet to meet a man who fits what I am looking for.  My father, who is my total hero, keeps being a great support to me – he just thinks they’re all idiots for not seeing the precious jewel that I am, and that I will meet a man who “gets” who I am, and will scoop me up and we’ll ride off into the sunset on his white steed.  I think I’m just losing hope that it will happen, no matter what my father tells me (and he’s always been so right about everything). Got any suggestions for me? – Cindy, NJ

Hey, Cindy,

You are one lucky gal – it sounds like you have a really wonderful father.  Awesome!

Now, for a little bad news.

You may need to find a way to get him off the pedestal it sounds like he’s on, so that there’s a place for the man you want to spend the rest of your life with.

Let me explain:

Most men who are the kind of man you’d want to marry – can’t say “all”, because then you might not listen to me – will not be drawn to a woman who has a case of “father-worship” (and even if you don’t think that is what you’ve got, it may still come across as that).


Because he’ll be either playing second fiddle or catch-him-if-you-can to your father, in order to be in your life as your partner.

What man would be interested in that?

How about men who are not that self-assured or confident.  Who question what they’ve got to offer.  Who are okay with being #2, because they’re not good enough to be #1.

My advice to you is to make room in your heart, and your mind, and your life, for a romantic partner.

Your Father Wants You to be Happy

Even though your father may relish how much you adore him, what he really wants is for you to end up with a fabulous man with whom you can have a scrumptious relationship…forever.

He would hate to be (unknowingly) contributing to that being a challenge for you, wouldn’t he?

Great men love it when their women have a great relationship with their fathers.  It tells them a lot about how they’ll treat them throughout their lives together.

They just have to know that they’ve got a shot at being the one who is on that pedestal (where, of course, he wants you to be – with him!).