Enjoy Your Life – It’s Very Attractive!

Dear Karen,

There are so many things I’d love to be doing, but I don’t want to get involved with things and miss a chance to find someone to be in a relationship with.  I’m scared to be single for the rest of my life, and getting into things before I’ve met someone makes me feel like I’m creating more of being single.  What should I do? – Stacy

Dear Stacy,

You’re talking about a very common concern among single women.  I hope this helps you and the women reading this who feel the same.

Here’s the deal: unless the things you’d love to be doing involve locking yourself in a basement and cutting yourself off from all communication, the reality is the opposite of your fear.  Doing what you love to do is very attractive (and attracting) to the men who are a good fit for you.  You must trust that.


I’ve heard so many things over the years from women: I can’t buy my own house (I have to do that with my man), I can’t travel (I have to save that for my man), I can’t take dancing lessons (until I’m with my man), I can’t learn to scuba dive (until I’m doing it with my man), I can’t go back to college (in case I end up being too busy to meet a man), I can’t volunteer for my favorite charity (it will take up too much of my time and energy and I won’t meet a man).  All fears that being fully engaged in a life that makes them happy would screw up their chances to end up with their one true love.

FACT: You’re way more likely to meet your true love when you are involved in doing what feels inspiring, energizing, fulfilling and fun to you.  When you’re engaged in something meaningful, what tends to be the outcome?

Here are some of the potential results of doing things you love:

•    You have a positive outlook on life
•    You’re un-self-conscious
•    You’re able to put things into better perspective
•    You’re passionate
•    You’re having fun (and maybe smiling, if not outright laughing)
•    You’re enjoying other people, and they’re enjoying you
•    Your creativity is flowing
•    You feel valuable
•    You feel like a part of something bigger than you
•    You feel attractive (and maybe even more fit, depending on the activity)
•    You may even feel sexy!

How irresistible!

Now picture taking these feelings about yourself through the rest of your day/week/month, into every other aspect of your life.  Can you imagine how attractive you would be to a man who is a good fit for you? (Actually, to most men!)


Another benefit to living a life now that is fulfilling to you is that you will be coming from a perspective of abundance in your life, rather than lack.  When your focus is on “I don’t have my man yet…where is he?”, you activate the power of the law of attraction to create more lack (you get more of what you focus on).  When you’re out there living a life you love, then your energy and focus will tend to be on what is feeling good, what you’re enjoying, and that will also activate the power of the law of attraction, this time in drawing more things to you that feel good.

Don’t worry that if you stop fretting about, scheming, planning, and generally focusing on finding a man, it will make it impossible to end up with a man.  When you let go, you tend to get there faster.  It’s one of those interesting things in life: let go, you get it…squeeze too hard, it tends to go away.


Get out there, do what you love, have fun, and don’t be the least bit surprised when you find you’ve attracted an awesome man who wants to join you in your fabulous life!