Optimists Are Attractive

Dear Karen,

I know a lot of people are feeling scared these days.  My question is this: I am out there dating, and want to end up in a really great relationship – one that lasts.  With everyone in such a down mood, how is this ever going to work?  Should I just wait until things get better? – Sylvia

Dear Sylvia,

You may think I’m nuts, but here’s my hit on things: this is a great time to make a big splash in the dating scene.  “How?” you may ask.

Be an optimist.  Be someone who’s great to spend time with, because you’re such a breath of fresh air.  Stand out from the crowd because you aren’t a member of the “Doom-and-Gloom” Club.

I am NOT saying that there’s no reason for people to feel whatever they’re feeling about what is going on with the economy.  Wherever people are is where they are, and that’s totally fine.

What I am suggesting is that by focusing on what is going well, and by paying attention to what you’re grateful for – and there is always plenty of both, if you really commit to finding/seeing them – and then sharing it freely with others, you will be a magnet for people who are approaching life in the same way.

Sadly, there are likely to be few(er) of you, but the good news is that you’ll be able to find each other more easily.

You are also going to be having a better time in your life, regardless of what is going on around you.

What this creates is you being VERY attractive.  And guess what?  There are plenty of men who are going to respond to your attitude by gravitating towards you, asking you out, and generally wanting to spend time with you.

One of the most important elements of dating is to be what you seek.  You will attract who you are (and cannot attract who you are not).

If you are being an optimist, and you’re feeling grateful for, and appreciative of, all that you have, you are going to draw men to you who are that way, too.

You’re off to a very good start, don’t you think?